32 Funny belief quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Jesus is not RSVP-ing to this event! He must be too busy turning water into wine or parting the seas 🍷🌊 Let's keep the thank-yous Earth-bound for now 😉🌍"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

  Commentary:
  "Dear deodorant manufacturers, if your product really lasts 72 hours, does that mean I can hibernate for 3 days and still smell fresh? 🤔 Meanwhile, my bus ride feels like a never-ending aroma adventure thanks to your 'long-lasting' promise! 🚌🤢 #PublicTransportStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

  Commentary:
  📸💍 When engagement photo shoots have you wondering if the ring's bling is compensating for something, honey! 😂💁‍♀️ Who needs a photo to prove they found love when they've already posted a million relationship updates?! 🤳🤣 Just remember, diamonds may be forever, but a great sense of humor is priceless! 💎😜 #SorryNotSorry

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

  Commentary:
  "🙏🚫 When your god has a 'delete' button rather than a 'love thy neighbor' one, it might be time to switch deities! 🔪⛔️ #ChooseLoveNotViolence"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

  Commentary:
  "Well, maybe they're just not into the paw-fect attendance policy 🐾🐕 Who can blame them though? With all that unconditional love and tail-wagging joy, they've probably already secured a spot in doggy heaven anyway!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'I don't believe you don't believe' move. It's like a philosophical mind twister! 🤯🤔 Who knew doubting beliefs could be so meta? 😄 #AtheistMindGames"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs faith when you've experienced the eternal torment of Monopoly? 😈 Board games can be a real test of friendships and sanity! 🎲💸 #MonopolyHell"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

  Commentary:
  "I'm not superstitious because it brings bad luck. Or at least that's what my lucky rabbit's foot told me after breaking a mirror under a ladder while spilling salt! 🐇🪞🪜 #JustMyLuck"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, with all these people on Earth, someone's gotta be hiding their ability to turn water into wine by now! 🍷💫 Let's unleash those superpowers already – I'm ready for a real-life Avengers team to assemble! 💥🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

  Commentary:
  "Remember folks, just like how hanging out in the produce section doesn't turn you into a vegetable 🍅, simply sitting in a pew doesn't automatically grant you 'holier than thou' status! 🙏😄 #TrueFaithGoesBeyondTheBuilding"

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