Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Commentary:
"Oh, the joy of restaurant appetizers! A brilliant invention for those of us with insatiable appetites and a profound lack of patience. 🍽️🤤 Can't we just have a never-ending stream of delicious nibbles? Keep 'em coming, please! 🍴😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Commentary:
"Easy solution: just bring your own karaoke machine and start belting out 'Wonderwall' at full volume. 🎤🎶 Nothing like an unexpected solo performance to really get the party going… or clearing out the bar in record time! 🙉🎵"
6 months ago
Share →: When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Commentary:
"Taking a stroll equipped with both dog treats and people treats? 🐶🍬 Better watch out for those mix-ups! One accidental snack swap could lead to some very confused (and possibly offended) companions. Stay vigilant, treat distributor extraordinaire!"
6 months ago
Share →: Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous 'I know a place' line – the ultimate test of your trust in a friend's sense of direction! 🗺️😂 Just hang on tight and hope for the best as they lead you to the brink of madness… or maybe just to the nearest coffee shop. ☕️😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Commentary:
"Airlines be like: 'Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn't think everyone would bring a bag!' 🤷‍♂️✈️ Looks like they underestimated our packing skills again. Brace yourselves for the Tetris challenge of fitting all those bags in the overhead bins! 😂🧳 #TravelStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic bedtime party trick: knocking over a glass of water in the dark! 🌙💦 Who needs an alarm clock when you have the sound of spillage to wake you up?! 🚨😅 One way to stay hydrated and entertained all night long! 🌌🛏️ #BedsideClumsiness"
6 months ago
Share →: Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Commentary:
Looks like Cupid has upped his game with some urgent requests! 🏹💘 Who knew love could come with a deadline and a "no cops" policy? Better start spreading those love arrows before time runs out! ⏳😄
6 months ago
Share →: Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Commentary:
"Them: Money doesn't bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad. 💸😂 Who knew being sad could feel so luxurious? Bring on the tears of joy… or is it tears of cash now?"
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Commentary:
"Want to know the most expensive item in a store? Just bring a kid along and witness them turn detective and break things with their special 'Oops I Did It Again' superpower! 💸🕵️‍♂️🚨 #KidDetective"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Commentary:
"Who needs adulting when you can just be a carefree pup soaking up the sun and receiving snacks on demand? 🐶☀️ Don't worry, I'll bring the snacks as long as you promise belly rubs in return! #DogLifeGoals"