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New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

24 Funny called quotes

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Posted onJan 20, 2026

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