34 Funny cats quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about being single to the point where even the neighborhood cats are trying to set you up with some home-cooked meals! 🐱🍽️ Who needs a significant other when you have a feline culinary squad on standby? 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

  Commentary:
  "Need some me-time? Just yell out, 'I need urgent assistance in the kitty litter department!' 🐱💩 You'll have the room all to yourself in no time! Just be prepared for curious looks and possible feline companionship 😂🐾 #DesperateMeasures"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the delicate balance of feline foolishness! 🐱🤪 Bringing two cats into your home is like starting a never-ending comedy duo act. One provides the laughs with its baffling dumb decisions, while the other keeps you on your toes with its perpetual peskiness. It's the perfect recipe for a madcap household! 😂🐾"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

  Commentary:
  Looks like we've got a real-life Tom and Jerry situation on our hands! 🐭🐱 Who knew cats had unionized and are now protesting against their job descriptions? 🙀 Time to call in the cat union rep for some serious negotiations! 😹 #LazyCatsAnonymous

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  5 months ago

  Share →: People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out, cat haters! 🐭🐾 Karma's got a special plan for you in the next life – hope you like cheese! 🧀😸"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the graceful yet brutal art of the cat slap – their way of saying 'I have no idea what you are, so take this slap!' 🐾😹 Don't mess with the mysterious feline mind, or you might end up with a swift paw to the face!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal feline naming dilemma: Should Fluffy channel the majestic vibes of Athena or embrace the spicy allure of Crunchwrap Supreme? 🐱👑🌮 Decisions, decisions… To goddess or to taco, that is the question! 😹 #CatsVersusTacos"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like cats have been holding back their world domination plans, focusing on knocking things off the coffee table instead! 🌎🐱 Time to rethink that flat earth theory, folks!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

  Commentary:
  "Who knew a cat's wedding could drive someone to madness? 🤪🐱💍 Remember folks, don't mess with a pet parent's big day plans – things can get purr-sonally crazy!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the infamous magic trick of cats: Projectile Vomiting Primarily on Plush Palaces! 🐱🤢🧹 Who needs a bathroom when you have a perfectly good carpet to target, right?"

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