Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,984

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Just landed via Snapchat:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Going viral on Reddit:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Just shared via Facebook:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Breaking via Telegram:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Seen just now on Threads:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Just landed via X:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Broadcasted on Slack:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Home » Funny Club Quotes

26 Funny club quotes

Funny club quotes are the perfect way to capture those wild nights and unforgettable vibes 🎉😂 Whether you’re hitting the dance floor or chilling with friends, these witty lines bring the party to life 💃🕺 Get ready to laugh, relate, and share the ultimate club moments that everyone will remember long after last call 🍹🔥 Let the good times roll with some seriously hilarious club wisdom!

New funny club quotes 👇

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

0

4 weeks ago

9, anxiety, asked, childhood, club, enough, good, humor, i, join, joke, little, nervous, situation, social, social situation, swing, swingers, swingers club
Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

0

1 month ago

beautiful, club, dating, humor, jazz, jazz club, problem, taking, woman, women
These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

0

1 month ago

aging, club, dance, fashion, heel, heels, humor, knee, knees, low, party, same, used
I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

0

2 months ago

3, am, back, car, cars, club, coming, glad, horse, humor, imagine, invention, late, late night, night, riding, transportation
I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, aging, club, hardware, hardware store, humor, i, lifestyle, preference, social, social activity, store, where
At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

0

2 months ago

asking, club, headache, humor, ibuprofen, night, night out, pain, pain relief, party, relief
Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, club, conversation, elephant, elephant in the room, humor, irony, joke, room, silence, social, social awkwardness, welcome
Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, club, homebody, house, humor, introvert, joke, laziness, leave, meeting, meetings, people, social, social anxiety, starting, thinking
At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

0

2 months ago

activity, club, dancer, fun, fun activity, humor, me, nightlife, sighing, strip, strip club, what’s, what’s wrong, wrong
I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

0

2 months ago

club, good, good times, haunted, i, know, miss, music, nostalgia, strip, strip club, times, Weeknd

For even more funny club quotes, hit next 👇

All funny club quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,835

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Trending via Threads:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Just landed via TikTok:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Just shared via X:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Making waves on Threads:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴