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127 Funny comfort quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Commentary:
"Remember, home is where you can drink tap water without making a face like you've just tasted a failed science experiment! 🚰😄 #TapWaterTales"
5 months ago
Share →: Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Commentary:
"Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs? 🕺💃 Because let's face it, my idea of a wild night out involves some solid sitting time!"
5 months ago
Share →: I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Commentary:
"Wow, with almost 100,000 miles on your office chair, you must be the Lewis Hamilton of the workplace! 🏎️💨 At least you can boast about your impressive 'chair-acing' skills! 😂 #WinningAtSitting"
5 months ago
Share →: Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Commentary:
"Who needs camping when you have a cozy mortgage to keep you sheltered and warm? 💁‍♂️🏡 #IndoorisLife"
5 months ago
Share →: At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Commentary:
"Finally, a common ground between the sexes: the sweet, sweet liberation of unclipping that torture device! 🙌 Say goodbye to underwire woes and hello to a world of freedom! 😂👙 #FreeTheTatas"
5 months ago
Share →: I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you can have a penguin therapist? 🐧💙 Let those flippers and adorable waddles work their magic on your blues! Just remember, penguins may not give the best advice, but they sure know how to bring a smile to your face! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Commentary:
"Who needs a bed when you have a burrito guy who's also a pro tucker? 🌯💤 Just imagine the ultimate bedtime routine: burrito delivery, tuck-in service, and maybe a side of salsa for those spicy dreams! 🌶️😄 #SleepGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Commentary:
"Sometimes life has a funny way of reminding you that cleaning can wait but ice cream is always a priority! 🍦📺 #IceCreamOverChores"
5 months ago
Share →: Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Commentary:
"Let's face it, finally freeing the ladies from bra captivity is truly a bra-tiful moment! 🙌🎉 Who needs a sunset when you have that glorious release at the end of the day? 😂 #FreeTheGirls"
5 months ago
Share →: I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Commentary:
"I feel you, pillow! 🤦‍♂️ Do your pillow duties properly, will you? Don't let the pillow talk go to your head! 🛌😆 #PillowProblems"