136 Funny cooking quotes — Wordgag ツ

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

3 days ago3 days ago

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

1 month ago1 month ago

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

1 month ago1 month ago

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

1 month ago1 month ago

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

1 month ago1 month ago

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

1 month ago1 month ago

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

2 months ago2 months ago

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

2 months ago2 months ago

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

2 months ago2 months ago

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

2 months ago2 months ago

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

2 months ago2 months ago

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

2 months ago2 months ago

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

2 months ago2 months ago

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

2 months ago2 months ago

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

2 months ago2 months ago