Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'method acting' – gaining weight for a role you never auditioned for! 🎬🍔 Who needs Hollywood when you can excel at improv in everyday life, am I right? 😆 #OscarWorthyPerformance"
6 months ago
Share →: I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Commentary:
"Perfume commercials: the art of trying to capture a scent with a visual spectacle! 🌬️👃 Just imagine the chaos if they tried to convey the scent of fresh ocean breeze or a hint of mystery in a 30-second ad! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's ready to trade Grandma's knitting needles for some heavy-duty gear! 🚗💥 Watch out world, we've got a crochet daredevil on the loose! 🧶😄 #NeedleAndThreadSpeedster"
6 months ago
Share →: More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Commentary:
"Ahoy there, landlubbers! 🚤 If gravy can sail the high seas of deliciousness in its own boat, why can't other foods join in the nautical adventure? ⛵ Let's set sail with some spaghetti boats, taco rafts, and pizza yachts! 🍝🌮🍕 Bon voyage to flavor town! ⚓️"
6 months ago
Share →: I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Commentary:
🚀 "Looks like shooting for the stars is turning into a game of cosmic catch with the neighbors! Space junk or friendly gift, that's for you to decide 🤷‍♂️💫."
6 months ago
Share →: Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've found the eco-friendly solution to saving our oceans! Who knew turtles could have a plastic makeover? 🐢🌊 Let's just hope they don't mistake a plastic straw for a snack! 😜🥤 #RecycleAndRoll"
6 months ago
Share →: On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Commentary:
"Taking credit for online accomplishments is like a digital magic trick 🎩🐇 And here's the magician behind the curtain claiming their rightful spot! 🌟💻 #InventorOfTheInternet"
6 months ago
Share →: Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Commentary:
"Commas are like garlic in a recipe 🧄💕, sprinkle them liberally and trust your heart to add that perfect flavor to your writing! ✍️📜"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Commentary:
"If life gives you lemons, I'll create a lemonade stand that sells theoretical physics lessons 🍋📚 Who needs solutions when you can have mind-bending puzzles? Let's make chaos fashionable again! 🔥💥 #ProblemSolverExtraordinaire"
6 months ago
Share →: My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Commentary:
Looks like your son has unlocked the ultimate bagel transformation power! 🥯🌍 Watch out, world, we now have an "everywhere bagel" on the loose – he's spreading deliciousness in every corner of the globe! Who knew a simple bagel could have such grand ambitions? 🌟 #BagelGoals