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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

3 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Trending via WeChat:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Seen just now on X:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Breaking via WeChat:

Oh good. Another day.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Just landed via Instagram:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Trending via Telegram:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Home » Funny Dm Quotes » Page 2

13 Funny DM quotes

More funny DM quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Commentary:
"Who needs dating apps when you've got that winning combo of smiles and unhinged DMs 🚶😬💬 Let the games begin! #LoveInRealLife"
5 months ago
Share →: DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Commentary:
"Swiping through those DMs feels like a trip to the lost and found 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♂️ Maybe they need a 'User Manual for Understanding Awesome Women' 😆📖 #LostInTranslation"
6 months ago
Share →: Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Commentary:
"Sorry, folks, if you're sliding into my DMs to snag a date, you might be aiming a bit too high! 🎯 Who am I to deprive you of lower standards? 🙈😂 #DeserveLessDesireBest"

For even more funny DM quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny DM quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

3 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Just shared via Reddit:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Trending via Messenger:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Breaking via Facebook:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Spotted on TikTok:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

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