Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Going viral on Slack:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Making waves on Discord:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Freshly posted on X:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Just landed via Threads:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Making waves on Twitch:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Funny episode quotes

Funny episode quotes are the ultimate mood boosters 🎉😂 Whether from sitcoms, cartoons, or iconic TV moments, these gems keep us laughing long after the credits roll 📺✨ Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day, they capture the perfect blend of wit and humor 😜🔥 Ready to dive into a world of laugh-out-loud lines? Let’s get quoting and keep those smiles coming! 😆🎬

New funny episode quotes 👇

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

0

2 months ago

2, binge, binge-watching, cliffhanger, drama, episode, episodes, last, me, procrastination, sexual, sexual tension, show, tension, TV, TV Show, watching
When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

0

2 months ago

camera, camera zoom, commentary, contact, episode, eye, eye contact, humor, i, marriage, married, office, side, style, The Office, video, video style, want, wedding, wedding video, Zoom
I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioning, conditioning, episode, episodes, every, heat, hot, humor, i, inconvenience, miss, nostalgia, show, sitcom, summer, TV, TV Show, where
January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

0

2 months ago

episode, humor, January, mood, schizophrenic, winter
I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

0

2 months ago

anything, conversation, episode, humor, i, interesting, island, knowledge, learn, learning, love, Love Island, reading, saw, say, show, subtitles, TV, TV Show
Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, alone time, being, binge-watching, episode, freedom, fun, fun activity, Netflix, next, single, someone, time, wait, watch
Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

0

2 months ago

describing, episode, humor, kid, life, listening, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, perspective, short, time
I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

0

3 months ago

binge, binge-watching, collection, episode, every, hoarder, Hoarders, humor, saved, saving, show, TV, TV Show, watching
On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

0

4 months ago

clutter, episode, hoarder, Hoarders, humor, mental, mental clutter, next, show, subconscious, TV, TV Show, visit
No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

0

5 months ago

always, episode, humor, matter, similarity, strange, The Twilight Zone, things, twilight, weird, weirdness, zone

All funny episode quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

34 shares on Slack this month:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

31 shares on Threads this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Trending via TikTok:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Just shared via YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Making waves on Threads:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Going viral on Telegram:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Live now on Twitch:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Making waves on YouTube:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

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