48 Funny exactly quotes

• I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

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  1 month ago

  along, am, day, easy, exactly, expectations, fun, fun person, humor, i, imagination, interruption, layout, person, planned, planning, variation

• Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

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  1 month ago

  bodega, exactly, humor, likes, misunderstanding, owner, perception, relationship, same, stripper, thinking

• Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

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  1 month ago

  being, coconut, danger, exactly, humor, i, infested, killed, odds, shark, swim, water

• I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

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  1 month ago

  blue, blue tick, communication, exactly, humor, i, interest, leave, media, people, relationship, social, social media, texting, tick, WhatsApp

• First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

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  1 month ago

  activity, awkward, awkward moments, date, exactly, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, icebreaker, idea, minutes, moments, person, phones, relationship, surprise, switch

• Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

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  1 month ago

  delete, exactly, humor, i, life, looks, me, photo, real, real life, self-image

• Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

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  1 month ago

  cleanliness, cooking, dirt, eating, exactly, figure, food, humor, much, mushroom, okay, preferences, washing

• I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

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  1 month ago

  balance, exactly, humor, i, job, jobs, need, plans, rent, sitcom, situation, situations, social, social plans, where, work life, work-life balance

• Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

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  1 month ago

  attention, being, catering, exactly, fall, family, hack, humor, i, life, life hack, needs, nice, situation, stairs, sure, whole

• Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

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  1 month ago

  again, annoying, children’s, children’s shows, dogs, exactly, humor, just, life, life span, live, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, pets, shows, span

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