72 Funny full quotes

• On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

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  1 hour ago

  babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting

• If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

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  10 hours ago

  bird, early, early bird, face, full, hiking, humor, learned, nature, outdoor, spiderweb, thing

• Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

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  11 hours ago

  August, Congress, enjoying, everyone, forgot, full, humor, i, month, oh, only, pay, politics, sarcasm, vacation, work

• There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

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  14 hours ago

  beverage, clumsiness, coffee, cup, fear, full, hand, morning, nothing, sneeze, spill

• I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

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  21 hours ago

  chill, even, full, ID, moon, werewolf

• Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

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  21 hours ago

  body, full, humor, laziness, lord, me, motivation, potential, prayer, push, rest, self-improvement, year, year-end

• What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

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  1 day ago

  better, confidence, else, everyone, full, humor, insecure, insecurity, paradox, people, personality, personality trait, room, same, self-esteem, situation, social, social situation, super, think, time, trait, walk

• If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

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  1 day ago

  always, food, full, humor, i, name, nickname, pasta, think, wordplay

• No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

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  2 weeks ago

  actually, alarm, alarm clock, annoyance, babe, before, clock, full, hour, humor, love, me, morning, only, partner, relationship, sarcasm, starting, wake, wake up

• If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

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  3 weeks ago

  birthday, communication, full, full name, humor, i, ID, name, question, relationship, text, things, wife

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