Funny quotes gardening

18 Funny gardening quotes

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

1 month ago

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

1 month ago

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

1 month ago

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

2 months ago

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

3 months ago

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

3 months ago

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

3 months ago

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

3 months ago

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

3 months ago

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

3 months ago

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

3 months ago

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

3 months ago

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

3 months ago

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

3 months ago

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

3 months ago

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

3 months ago

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

3 months ago

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

3 months ago