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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Just shared via YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Making waves on Threads:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Breaking via Slack:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Freshly posted on X:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Going viral on X:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Going viral on Discord:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

2 weeks ago

comedy, frustration, guys, health, humor, i, media, mental, mental health, mess, nothing, posts, problems, psychology, read, social, social media, therapist, want, wanted
No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

2 weeks ago

Blue’s Clues, blues, clues, comedy, depression, health, humor, mental, mental health, symptoms, wordplay
Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

2 weeks ago

activity, allowed, depressed, depression, expression, fun, fun activity, health, humor, internet, internet activity, mental, mental health, most, nonsense, online, online expression, online humor, person, satire, times, twisted, twisted times
Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

2 weeks ago

being, gracefully, happiness, happy, health, humor, insane, insanity, joy, life, mental, mental health, secret, self-acceptance, uniqueness
Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

2 weeks ago

activity, day, detox, digital, digital detox, friends, fun, fun activity, grass, gutted, health, mental, mental health, nature, offline, outdoor, outdoor activity, report, socializing, spending, touching, touching grass
My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

2 weeks ago

brain, concern, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guessing, headache, health, health concern, humor, lack, malnutrition, medical, medical humor, migraine, poor, posture, sleep, stress
Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

2 weeks ago

activity, car, car ride, fun, fun activity, good, health, loud, loud music, mental, mental health, music, relaxation, ride, self-care, solo, soul, yourself
I need a vaccine against overthinking.

2 weeks ago

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, overthinking, relief, stress, stress relief, vaccine
Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

2 weeks ago

being, favorite, favorite patient, health, humor, mental, mental health, mental wellness, patient, psychotherapy, therapist, therapy, wellness
“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

2 weeks ago

dark, dark humor, frustration, health, humor, just, live, mental, mental health, password, resilience, sarcasm, too, wait

For even more funny health quotes, hit next 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

97 shares on Slack this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Making waves on X:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

50 shades of single.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Making waves on Messenger:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Going viral on Instagram:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Just landed via TikTok:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Spotted on Twitch:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Activity Log ✨

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨