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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Making waves on Reddit:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Going viral on Reddit:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Trending via TikTok:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Live now on X:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Live now on Facebook:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

3 weeks ago

daily, daily struggle, finding, health, humor, live, longest, mental, mental health, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, struggle, will to live
Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

3 weeks ago

40s, age, aging, back, back pain, every, flare-up, health, humor, know, middle, middle age, never, pain, random, random pain, time, welcome
It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

3 weeks ago

always, anxiety, deadly, deadly disease, disease, health, huge, humor, joke, list, loss, reading, relief, symptom, symptoms, unexplained, unexplained weight loss, weight
Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

3 weeks ago

cut, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, revenge, therapy, vengeance
Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

3 weeks ago

adulting, health, humor, life, mental, mental health, mystery, self-care, session, therapy, time
The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

3 weeks ago

dating, enough, finding, hard, health, humor, illness, life, mental, mental health, mental illness, mentally, relationship, ruin, someone, understand, understanding
I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

3 weeks ago

adult, adulting, being, breakfast, budgeting, cake, health, humor, i, irony, meant, mental, mental health, therapy, thought
There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

3 weeks ago

before, diet, food, foods, health, humor, never, nutrition, protein, science, surprise
No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

3 weeks ago

astrology, cosmic, depressed, depression, excuse, health, humor, just, mental, mental health, mood, planet, planets, something, star, stars, sure, wrong
Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

3 weeks ago

birdwatching, health, hobby, humor, mean, mental, mental health, relaxation, therapy

For even more funny health quotes, hit next 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Discord this month:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

17 shares on Slack this month:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Spotted on X:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Shared recently on Discord:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Shared recently on Slack:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Activity Log ✨

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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