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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2527 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,689

Funny Quotes Topics

15,354

Funny Quotes Images

12,689

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m running out of people I like.

Trending via WeChat:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Spotted on Reddit:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Live now on WeChat:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Making waves on Slack:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2527 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,689

Funny Quotes Topics

15,354

Funny Quotes Images

12,689

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Spotted on X:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Spotted on Messenger:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Just landed via X:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Reported on Messenger:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Going viral on Instagram:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Making waves on Reddit:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Just shared via Twitch:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

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