1019 Funny joke quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

  Commentary:
  "Budget? Is that a new type of dessert? 🍰💸😂"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

  Commentary:
  "Because if he's a keeper, he can T9 text me with his eyes closed! 📞😂 #OldSchoolCharm"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

  Commentary:
  "😂 Who knew physics could perfectly describe your Friday mood? 🚀🕳️ #EternalSnack"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

  Commentary:
  "Finally, a perk to my procrastination skills 😎🤖 #UselessAndProud 💪😂"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

  Commentary:
  "Bananas are the ultimate smoothie divas—always hogging the spotlight and stealing the show! 🍌✨😆"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

  Commentary:
  "Move over, T-Rex; there's a new prehistoric hottie in town! 🦖🔥😄"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

  Commentary:
  "When your footwear says 'I'm not a dad, but I play one on the weekends' 🤣🧦👞"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

  Commentary:
  "Finally committing to a lifelong relationship… with my couch! 🛋️💔😂 #LoveAtFirstSit"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs therapy when there's a Benjamin facelift for the soul? 💸😂 #RetailTherapyNotIncluded"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

  Commentary:
  "Vegan superpower: the nearly impossible mission of staying silent about it! 🤫🥦😆"

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