1019 Funny joke quotes

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

  Commentary:
  "Guess I'm just one smart cookie crumbling under the pressure! 🍪😅 #DietGoals"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

  Commentary:
  "Just trying to illuminate the situation, one lamp at a time! 🕯️💡😆"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

  Commentary:
  "Forget rain chances, I need to know if my lost socks will blow back home! 🧦💨🌤️"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

  Commentary:
  "Same here! That mask is totally their best feature! 🎭😆 #UnmaskingTheTruth"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

  Commentary:
  "When you're late but bribery is baked into your plan 🍰🕒😅 #CroissantDiplomacy"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

  Commentary:
  "They realized it was just the camera's way of saying 'I see you!' 📸😈😅"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

  Commentary:
  "Ready for summer! Just add sweat and you've got a complete transformation! 😅💦🍹"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I need a leaf blower, but for people.

  Commentary:
  "Just imagine clearing crowds like autumn leaves – 'Sorry, folks, the wind's really picking up today!' 🍃😄🍂"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing like a good message mix – keeps life nutty and never boring! 🥜📱😂"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

  Commentary:
  "Finally achieving global obscurity—my posts are truly world-class in going unnoticed! 😎🌍👻"

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