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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Making waves on Twitch:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Spotted on Facebook:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Making waves on Reddit:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Just landed via Twitch:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Just landed via Slack:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Going bananas on Slack:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Spotted on Slack:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Home » Funny Leave Quotes » Page 12

128 Funny leave quotes

More funny leave quotes 👇

2 months ago

Commentary:
Keep your seatbelt fastened, this rollercoaster of weirdness only speeds up from here! 🎢😜

handle, humor, leave, me, personality, relationship, weird
2 months ago

Commentary:
When your favorite IT moment is Ctrl + Alt + Escape! 🚪😂💼

casual, casual language, favorite, favorite part, grab, humor, i, language, leave, leaving, life, office, office humor, quitting, quitting time, shit, time, work, work life, workday
2 months ago

Commentary:
It's like living with a majestic breadcrumb trail, but instead of leading you home, it just clogs the vacuum! 🦸‍♀️🔍✨

angel, falling, feather, girl, girls, hair, humor, leave, literally, little, long hair, metaphor, trace, traces, wherever, wing, wings
3 months ago

Commentary:
Starting over at 27? Why not! It's the new trend—like upgrading your phone but with life decisions 📱🔄😂

age, beginning, change, decision, everything, good, know, leave, life, life change, love, new, new beginning, over, start, starting, starting over, uncertainty
3 months ago

Commentary:
Why do our phones have to remind us that time is the real boss? 😅⏰🔴

annoyance, clock, distraction, evil, hate, i, leave, phone, red, side, technology
3 months ago

Commentary:
Master of free leg shaves, one tattoo parlor at a time! 😂🦵✂️

humor, i, leave, leg, me, parlor, prank, shaving, tattoo, tattoo parlor, trick
3 months ago

Commentary:
Escape artist by day, professional weekend enthusiast by Friday afternoon! 😎🏃‍♂️💨

early, early leave, Friday, humor, leave, life, office, office life, sneaking, sneaking out, talent, work
4 months ago

Commentary:
Loop? More like hoop—I'm just here for the snacks! 🍿🤷‍♂️😆

communication, exclusion, humor, interaction, leave, loop, me, please, sarcasm, social, social interaction
4 months ago

Commentary:
Finally found something more reliable than my last text buddy 🤑📱🤷‍♂️

9, communication, hours, humor, leave, money, patience, read, relationship, texting
4 months ago

Commentary:
Relatable! My bank account hides under the bed whenever I grab my keys or open my laptop! 💸😅🚪🖥️

access, finance, good, house, humor, i, internet, joke, leave, money, online, online shopping, personal, personal finance, pretty, self-control, shopping, spending

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,709

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Making waves on Discord:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Just shared via Twitch:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Spotted on Discord:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Going viral on Telegram:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

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