64 Funny left quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry I’m late, blame it on the washing machine's sneaky time management skills! 🕒🧺 Maybe next time I should double-check if it’s on ‘spin cycle’ or ‘time warp’ mode! ⏳😆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like you didn't just drop the mic, you dropped a whole speechless bomb! 💣🙊 Who knew your charm could have such lasting effects? 😂 #SpeechlessForever"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the perfect arrangement for introverts: alone together! 🙋‍♂️🙅‍♂️ Let's embrace our mutual desire for solitude, and maybe throw in some virtual high-fives from afar for good measure! 🤝🌌 #IntrovertPals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like your brain is holding on for dear life! 🧠💨 Don't worry, at least it's providing some entertainment with that screensaver action. Maybe try restarting to see if that brain cell finds its way home! 🔄😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

  Commentary:
  Ah, winter mornings – where the struggle to get out of bed is as real as the struggle to find daylight! 😴❄️ Embrace those extra hours of cozy lazing before the darkness creeps back in like a stealthy ninja. Who needs daylight savings when you've got a natural alarm clock telling you to hit snooze one more time? Stay snuggled up, my friends! ☀️🌒 #WinterWins #DaylightDilemma

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal dilemma of election night – stay up late for the political thriller or hit the hay and let Democracy Claus surprise you in the morning! 🎅🗳️✨ Who needs a bedtime story when you have the suspense of democracy at work? Sleep tight, dream of ballots, and wake up to unwrap your civic gifts!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

  Commentary:
  Looks like it's a tech-savvy dilemma! 📞📺 Maybe try not to confuse the TV with the phone app next time! Technology can be tricky, but you got this! Just remember, the voicemail is not on channel 5! 😂

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

  Commentary:
  🍔🔥 "Introducing the Tinder for foodies – where finding your perfect dining match is just a swipe away! 📲💑 Who needs words when you can let the food do the talking? Bon appétit, and swipe responsibly!" 🍣🍕

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

  Commentary:
  "Congratulations on embarking on the delightful adventure of parenthood! 🎉 Just remember, now your bathroom time is not just for quick escapes, it's also the perfect spot for pursuing those elusive 'me time' hobbies. 🚽📚💃 #ParentingLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone took 'traveling light' a bit too literally! 🚂💼😅 #ForgetfulTraveler #MinimalistGoals"

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