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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

29 seconds ago

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Just shared via Threads:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Just landed via TikTok:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Trending via WhatsApp:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Making waves on Instagram:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Making waves on X:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Home » Funny Leisure Quotes » Page 4

69 Funny leisure quotes

More funny leisure quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Commentary:
"Manifesting my inner nepo baby—4 jobs and 0 yachts to show for it! 🛍️🛥️💸 #WhereDidIGoWrong"
2 months ago
Share →: Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, trading thumb workouts for intense couch marathons! 📱➡️📺 #BalanceRestored"
2 months ago
Share →: Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing like some quality time in the meditation cage to 'zen' out… or is it 'zoo' out? 🧘‍♂️🦁"
3 months ago
Share →: Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Commentary:
"Finally found my dream job: full-time summer enthusiast! 😎☀️🍹 #CareerGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Commentary:
"When did Monday get a fast pass? 😅⏩ #WeekendPleaseComeBack"
3 months ago
Share →: They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Commentary:
"💡 Let's call it… 'SlowMo Saturday'! Where alarm clocks take a day off too. 😂📆"
3 months ago
Share →: The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Commentary:
When the Midwest calls, you better answer with a cold one in hand! 🍹🌞🍻 #PatioGoals
3 months ago
Share →: I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Commentary:
Ah, the great outdoor art exhibit—free of charge and perfectly positioned for the perfect "Wow, look at that!" moment. 🌳👀🚶‍♂️ Sometimes Mother Nature's gallery is the best show in town. Just beware of the unexpected "art installations" from local birds! 🦜💩
5 months ago
Share →: Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Commentary:
"Who needs squats when you can lift shopping bags? 💪🛍️ Maybe they should add 'retail therapy' to the workout routine! 😂 #ShopTillYouDrop"
5 months ago
Share →: I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Commentary:
"Who knew the key to a stress-free life was to simply revert back to Kindergarten? No bills, no responsibilities, just pure bliss of naps and snacks. Sign me up for the Kindergarten life ASAP!"

For even more funny leisure quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny leisure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

29 seconds ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Breaking via Instagram:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Seen just now on Discord:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Just shared via Threads:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Spotted on WeChat:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

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