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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

8 hours ago

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Seen just now on Discord:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Going viral on Reddit:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Trending via Messenger:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Home » Funny Means Quotes » Page 7

62 Funny means quotes

More funny means quotes 👇

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Commentary:
Ah, the great divide between professions! 💩 For nurses, loose stool is just another day at work, while for bartenders, it's a definite sign something went wrong with the cocktail recipe! 🍹😂 Just remember, context is everything in the world of bodily functions and mixed drinks! 🩺🍻
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Commentary:
"Ah, a tattoo that serves as a cautionary tale! 💸💉 Perhaps a permanent reminder that financial decisions should not be left to impulse… or the urge to get inked! 😂"

For even more funny means quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny means quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

8 hours ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Going viral on Telegram:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Trending via Snapchat:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

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