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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Shared recently on X:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Shared recently on Slack:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Making waves on Snapchat:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Trending via Reddit:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Just shared via WeChat:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Broadcasted on Slack:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

86 Funny means quotes

More funny means quotes 👇

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

3 weeks ago

bike, care, city, DUI, health, humor, means, new, New York City, riding, Tennessee, york
When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

3 weeks ago

ask, client, communication, confusion, creativity, design, humor, i, means, mind, myself, pop, project
My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

3 weeks ago

boss, day, finished, humor, i, job, just, left, means, office, productivity, work
Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

3 weeks ago

boundary, friendly, humor, i, interaction, just, mean, means, personality, rude, sarcasm, social, social interaction
Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

3 weeks ago

40s, age, bed, humor, know, life, means, night, nothing, reality, Saturday, weekend, welcome
At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

3 weeks ago

adulting, age, bedroom, clothes, dryer, humor, i, laundry, means, trail
Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

3 weeks ago

aging, changes, complaining, getting, humor, interaction, less, life, life changes, means, older, people, perspective, social, social interaction, talking
I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

3 weeks ago

again, color, color preference, emotional, emotional healing, girl, girls, healing, i, liking, means, pink, preference, start, think
Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

3 weeks ago

adulthood, adulting, body, changes, growing, hair, humor, life, losing, means, want
If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

3 weeks ago

ever, hot, i, me, means, missing, news, pictures, put, skinny

For even more funny means quotes, hit next 👇

All funny means quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

68 shares on X this month:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Just landed via Messenger:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Just shared via Instagram:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Trending via Discord:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Activity Log ✨

86 Funny means quotes

More funny means quotes 👇

All funny means quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨