28 Funny message quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

  Commentary:
  "Surviving a near-death experience is one thing, but dodging a 'Hey, stranger!' text 5 months later? That takes true resilience and a good block button! 😂📱 #JustSurvivorThings"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

  Commentary:
  🤔 "Ah, the ancient art of telepathy! Let me check my spam folder for your message… 🧐 Oh no, it must have gotten lost among all the mental junk mail! 😂 Next time, try sending a carrier pigeon just to be safe! 🐦💌"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that regurgitation could be a form of time travel! 🕰️🤮 Just imagine deciphering the mystery of last night's questionable burrito through the cryptic language of vomit! 😂 #ThrowUpWisdom"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

  Commentary:
  "Receiving a drunk text is like being chosen as the VIP in someone's intoxicated adventure 🍻📱💬 #PrioritiesInCheck"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

  Commentary:
  Oh dear, did my telepathic carrier pigeon get lost en route to your brain? 🧐🕊️ Don't worry, I've upgraded to sending messages via psychic owls now. 🦉 Hopefully, they'll reach you in time for our next séance! 🔮😄

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

  Commentary:
  "Brace yourselves, for the email escape artist is about to pull off the disappearing act of the century 🎩✨💌 #OOOMagic #GoneWithTheEmails"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

  Commentary:
  Wow, talk about a wild excuse for not replying! 😂 Next time, just blame it on bad signal or falling asleep. 🤷‍♂️ Hopefully, you didn't make any cloud friends up there! ☁️🦅

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your voicemail is taking a toast break! 🍞🎤 Just make sure to butter up your message for better reception. 🧈😄 Let's hope the toaster doesn't burn your message! 🔥📞"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Gwyneth Paltrow is now giving out dream assignments! 😂💭 Who knew she had a direct line to our subconscious? Better watch out for those goop-inspired dreams, who knows what self-care rituals you'll wake up to next! 🌙✨ #DreamsWithGwyneth"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

  Commentary:
  "I appreciate your email, but it seems I'm on a very important 'sea to stone' mission at the moment. 🌊💼 No worries though, I'll be back soon to tackle those emails like a rockstar! 😄🤘"

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