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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Spotted on WeChat:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Trending via Slack:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Just shared via TikTok:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Trending via Threads:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Live now on Pinterest:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Spotted on X:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Just shared via Facebook:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Live now on Telegram:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

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