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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Trending via TikTok:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Going viral on Telegram:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Trending via Facebook:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Spotted on YouTube:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Just landed via Reddit:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Making waves on TikTok:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Just shared via Telegram:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

11 Funny paycheck quotes

Funny paycheck quotes 💸 bring laughter to the all-too-familiar moment when your hard-earned cash hits your account 💰. Whether your paycheck feels like a blessing or a brief visitor, these witty sayings capture the joy, surprise, and sometimes the heartbreak of payday 🤑. Ready to smile through the hustle? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on those sweet, short-lived paychecks! 😂✨

New funny paycheck quotes 👇

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

7 days ago

assume, assumption, boss, employee, employees, humor, insane, job, motivation, office, paycheck, reason, truly, work, working
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

1 week ago

ambition, career, humor, i, job, money, paycheck, thought, work
I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

2 weeks ago

away, door, front, humor, i, joke, keep, money, paycheck, picture, prank, solicitors
Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

2 weeks ago

arts, Arts & Crafts, bring, crafts, creativity, hit, humor, michael, Michaels, paycheck, pizza, shopping, spending, store, supply
The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

2 weeks ago

healthcare, humor, irony, job, money, paramedic, paycheck, profession, seen, thing, workplace, worst
A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

3 weeks ago

account, five, humor, minutes, moment, money, paycheck, silence, spending
Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

3 weeks ago

education, everyone, hate, humor, irony, know, looks, math, money, paycheck, trigonometry
My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

3 weeks ago

door, front, front door, home, home security, humor, joke, just, money, paycheck, security, system
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

3 weeks ago

boss, every, humor, joke, me, paycheck, presentation, salary, start, work, work humor, workplace
I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

3 weeks ago

every, finance, humor, i, income, job, me, money, month, need, paycheck, salary, shock, work

For even more funny paycheck quotes, hit next 👇

All funny paycheck quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Twitch this month:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

57 shares on Slack this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

49 shares on Threads this month:

Being strange is exhausting.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

51 shares on X this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My nickname in high school was “who?”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Seen just now on Reddit:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Being strange is exhausting.

Trending via X:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Making waves on Facebook:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Shared recently on X:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

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