Commentary:
Sounds like our plans are getting a party upgrade! Too bad I'm switching to ghost mode 👻🎉
1149 Funny people quotes
There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.
Commentary:
Looks like we're all winging it like professional penguins on ice! 🐧❄️😅
I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.
Commentary:
Guess I gotta start saving up for my 30s glow-up fund! 💸✨😅
I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.
Commentary:
Who knew speakerphones had "unlimited audience" mode? 📢🙉😂
New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.
Commentary:
"NYC: Where you pay gourmet prices for scrambled eggs and a side of existential crisis 🍳💸🥶"
How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.
Commentary:
Guess I better start live-streaming my bathroom breaks to keep up! 🚽😂📱
I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, it could've given you a chocolate fountain instead! 🍋➡️🍫🎉
Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.
Commentary:
When existential crises get boring, just add friends and watch as the "point" becomes slightly less blurry 😂👀❤️
Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.
Commentary:
Oops, I guess my joke left everyone more confused than amused! 🤔😂🥴
New term for people with jobs: emploids.
Commentary:
Trying to become an "emploid" so I can get upgrades in coffee consumption ☕🔧