101 Funny read quotes

• A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

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  2 months ago

  communication, confusing, humor, life, media, modern, modern life, music, post, read, social, social media, turn

• My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

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  2 months ago

  everyone, everything, expectations, favorite, heart, humor, intentions, kindness, media, nice, purity, read, sarcasm, social, social media, things, true, truth, Twitter

• Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

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  2 months ago

  accept, acceptance, conditions, humor, i, irony, lord, me, prayer, read, reading, serenity, terms, wisdom

• So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

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  2 months ago

  backwards, Evian, fortune, humor, i, little, paid, people, read, used, water, wonder

• I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

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  2 months ago

  communication, honesty, humor, i, myself, phone, read, read receipt, receipt, self, technology, tell

• I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

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  2 months ago

  dead, great, humor, irony, man, never, obituary, pleasure, read, sarcasm, wish

• No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

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  2 months ago

  argue, article, conversation, debate, humor, i, impatience, read, want

• An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

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  2 months ago

  awkward, awkward moment, dim, dim lights, exam, eye, eye exam, funny situation, lights, menu, moment, optometrist, read, situation, test, under, vision, vision test, where

• Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

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  2 months ago

  always, book, cleverness, dog, dog ear, ear, facade, humor, irony, keep, know, literary, nightstand, people, perception, read, reading, think

• I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

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  2 months ago

  celebrity, comedy, culture, cyrus, hannibal, Hannibal Montannibal, humor, i, lambs, miley, Miley Cyrus, montannibal, movie, movie remake, parody, playing, pop, pop culture, read, remake, silence, Silence of the Lambs

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