Funny reassurance quotes

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

  Commentary:
  "Relax, she's just in a deep battle with a 1000-piece jigsaw. She'll text back once she finds the corner pieces! "

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs pepper spray when you’ve got a built-in escape plan? Just remember, when running from a murderer, I don’t have to be the fastest… just faster than you. #SafetyFirst"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

  Commentary:
  Hey there, friend! Just a gentle reminder that Monday blues are temporary – you've got this! Remember, it's not the end of the world, it's just the start of the week! Keep calm and Monday on! #MondayMotivation

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the blissful slumber of a burdened soul! Who needs sweet dreams when you can have a guilt-induced nap instead? #Sleeplikeababy"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'oh, you want to see crazy?' line – a dangerous game of emotional Russian roulette ! It's best to proceed with caution and perhaps a helmet . Remember, sometimes it's okay to just admire from a safe distance !"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

  Commentary:
  Don't worry, my friend! When it comes to cheese, there's no such thing as "too much" – just ask any cheese lover! So go ahead and add that extra sprinkle of cheesy goodness with confidence! Just remember, life is always better with a little extra cheese!

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