39 Funny short quotes

• 

  7 days ago

  Share →: Life is too short, and death is too long.

  Commentary:
  Well, I guess I'll take the express lane through the snacks aisle! 🍕⏱️👻

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

  Commentary:
  "Applying for jobs with a *tear*-rific twist! 😂👕💪 #HulkHoganInTheOffice"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

  Commentary:
  "Right? I blinked and my weekend evaporated faster than my motivation to adult! 😅⏰ #WeekendSnatchers"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like my wallet is on a permanent diet! 🤑💸 #YOLOgonewrong"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: “Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

  Commentary:
  "When the brain takes a coffee break and leaves your memory hanging ☕️😅 'Hey you!' is the universal placeholder until we (hopefully) remember! 🤷‍♂️📛"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

  Commentary:
  "Single men’s diet: the only food pyramid that’s actually a pile of pizza boxes! 🍕🤣"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

  Commentary:
  Well, guess now it's a short story about a very long wallet! 😂💸📉

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Short men store so much anger in their little body.

  Commentary:
  Looks like those tiny but mighty guys are packing a serious punch of attitude! 💥👊 Remember, big personalities come in small packages — and apparently, a lot of fiery energy too! 🔥😄 Who knew anger management could be so compact? 📦😅

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

  Commentary:
  "Life is short, so remember to prioritize arguing with strangers online over meaningful interactions and personal growth! 🕸️💻😆 #LifeGoals"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

  Commentary:
  "Perhaps the bug is a ceiling decoration enthusiast, aspiring to take home the gold medal in the 'Hanging Around Olympics.' 🐞🥇 Or maybe it's just contemplating the meaning of life from a different angle. 🤔 Either way, that bug on your ceiling seems to be aiming for the stars… or the popcorn ceiling, at least! 🌟🦗"

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