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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Spotted on Reddit:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Spotted on TikTok:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Just shared via Instagram:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Going viral on Slack:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

15 Funny sister quotes

Funny sister quotes bring all the laughs and loving eye-rolls that only siblings can inspire 😂💖 From playful teasing to unforgettable moments, these witty lines capture the wild ride of sisterhood perfectly 🎉👭 Get ready to smile, snort, and maybe even share a secret or two, because sisters are the ultimate best friends with a hilarious twist! 😜✨

New funny sister quotes 👇

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

1 hour ago

anger, emotions, experience, family, humor, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, sister
I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

1 day ago

ever, family, going, gym, humor, i, inside, joke, misunderstanding, nephew, recover, said, should, sister, telling, think
My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

1 month ago

boyfriend, breakup, crop, dad, end, family, humor, joke, new, photo, picture, sister, stand, told, whenever
Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

2 months ago

breaking, breaking news, dark, dark humor, headline, humor, mistake, news, news headline, sister, suicidal, tragedy, twin
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

2 months ago

bathroom, brother, childhood, dance, family, humor, i, sister, waiting
I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

2 months ago

aging, anticipation, family, gray, gray hair, hair, humor, i, older, point, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, sister, wait
Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

2 months ago

family, humor, kids, never, parenting, phrases, say, sister, things, thought, unexpected, unexpected phrases, vacuum
I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

2 months ago

asked, dad, equality, family, favorite, favorite joke, humor, i, joke, love, parenting, pick, sister
My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

2 months ago

activity, brother, charcuterie, food, humor, me, sibling, sister, skateboard, snowboard
I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

2 months ago

failure, family, half, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, sibling, sister

For even more funny sister quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sister quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

76 shares on Reddit this month:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

68 shares on X this month:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Just landed via YouTube:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Going viral on Reddit:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Making waves on Threads:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

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