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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Going bananas on Twitch:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Making waves on Messenger:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Freshly posted on X:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

33 Funny smile quotes

More funny smile quotes 👇

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

4 weeks ago

dancing, expression, fake, hand, hands, humor, jazz, jazz hand, performance, smile
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

4 weeks ago

attitude, curiosity, expression, humor, keep, mischief, people, secret, smile, wonder
Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

4 weeks ago

banana, expression, happiness, humor, monkey, new, smile
Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

4 weeks ago

conversation, fake, fake smile, hobby, humor, patience, people, situation, smile, smiling, social, social situation, stop, talking, waiting
No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

1 month ago

activity, apps, around, communication, dating, DM, fun, going, just, people, send, smile, social, unhinged, walk, year
I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

1 month ago

accident, distraction, humor, i, love, phone, reason, relationship, smile, walk, wall
My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

1 month ago

always, boyfriend, complain, humor, i, irony, never, relationship, serious, serious relationship, smile, wanted
Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

1 month ago

attack, blood, cell, cells, health, humor, joke, smile, tried, white, white blood cell, yesterday
I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

1 month ago

capture, effort, family, feel, hours, humor, i, parenting, photographer, photography, smile, spend, teenager, trying, wildlife
I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

1 month ago

back, braces, dental, done, having, humor, i, irony, perfect, perfect tooth, point, reason, self-image, smile, teeth, tooth

For even more funny smile quotes, hit next 👇

All funny smile quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

66 shares on X this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

89 shares on X this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

64 shares on Slack this month:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Seen just now on Threads:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Just shared via X:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Spotted on YouTube:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Live now on Snapchat:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Activity Log ✨

33 Funny smile quotes

More funny smile quotes 👇

All funny smile quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨