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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Going viral on Slack:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Seen just now on Threads:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Just shared via WeChat:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Spreading quickly via X:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Making waves on WeChat:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Making waves on Instagram:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Going viral on Slack:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Making waves on Facebook:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Trending via TikTok:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Live now on Snapchat:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Trending via Messenger:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Just landed via X:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

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