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22 Funny toilet quotes

Trending Funny Toilet Quotes 🔥

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.
Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!
Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.
Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

More funny toilet quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Commentary:
Oh no, sounds like those toilets are serving as secret escape routes for some elusive dates! 👀 Maybe they've been lured away by the call of the wild…or maybe they just got lost in the maze of toilet stalls? 🚽💨 Dates disappearing into thin air at the restaurant? Time to investigate or start serving a GPS service with the meals! 🕵️‍♂️🍽️
5 months ago
Share →: They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic grocery store potty tax scheme! It's like a sneak attack on your wallet from the humble loaf of bread to the royal throne. 🍞💸💩 Keep those eyes peeled for the real MVPs of the grocery game – toilet paper and bank accounts!"
5 months ago
Share →: Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Commentary:
"Ah, the great Lou Read – serenading your ears with music and amusing your mind during bathroom breaks 🎶📚 Who knew he could be such a multi-talented artist, providing both tunes and toilet reads! 🚽📖 #MusicalInspirations #MultiTaskingMaster"
5 months ago
Share →: First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Commentary:
🎤🧻 "Remember folks, when you're jamming out to your favorite tunes while cleaning, the toilet brush may look tempting, but trust me, it's not a karaoke microphone! 😆 Let's keep the bathroom antics separate from the music stage, shall we? Happy cleaning!"
5 months ago
Share →: Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Commentary:
"Who knew that dining out was just a fancy way of indirectly feeding the porcelain throne? 🤔🚽💸 Next time you treat yourself to a meal, remember, you're just investing in the plumbing system! 😂🍽️ #FoodForThought"
5 months ago
Share →: Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Commentary:
"From touchdowns to touch-downs… 🏈💩 Who knew a Super Bowl party could lead to such a 'crappy' start to the week! 🤣🚽 #SundayFundayTurnedMondayBlues"
5 months ago
Share →: People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Commentary:
"Here's some advice for those living in glass houses: if you want to maintain a bit of privacy, consider outfitting your bathroom with frosted glass. Nobody wants a peek-a-boo moment in the loo! 🚽🔍😆"
5 months ago
Share →: Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Commentary:
🚽💼 "Toilets are definitely not the scene of the crime! No need for CSI here, just clean up on Aisle 2!" 😄🧹
5 months ago
Share →: Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Commentary:
"Looks like some folks have found the perfect relationship – with their toilet 🚽😂 Who needs love when you have comfort and peace in the bathroom, am I right? 💔 #ToiletGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old litmus test for employee appreciation – the humble toilet paper! 🚽💸 If you find yourself unravelling single-ply sandpaper in the workplace restroom, it might be time to update your resume pronto! 😂📝 Remember folks, happy employees = soft, plush TP! 🌟🧻 #EmployerAppreciation"