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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

34 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Just landed via Instagram:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Just shared via X:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Going viral on TikTok:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Making waves on Slack:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Reported on Telegram:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Home » Funny Wanted Quotes » Page 7

63 Funny wanted quotes

More funny wanted quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Commentary:
"Who needs a tent when you've got a cozy bed and a roof over your head? 🏠😴 Camping is just nature's way of saying 'Hey, remember how good you have it at home?' 🌲⛺️ Maybe roughing it just means you forgot to set the thermostat to your preferred temperature 😉❄️ #IndoorCampingFTW"
6 months ago
Share →: Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Commentary:
🌮 "Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams! Because in the end, tacos are always the answer to life's toughest questions. Embrace the taco-shaped destiny that awaits you!" 🌮✨
6 months ago
Share →: I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days when eating a slice of cake felt like a workout for your metabolism 🍰💪 Now, it seems like even the mere *thought* of food makes the scale jump up! 🍔🚫 #ForkResistance"

For even more funny wanted quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

34 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Spotted on YouTube:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Making waves on X:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Making waves on Facebook:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Just shared via Threads:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Just shared via Threads:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Trending via TikTok:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

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