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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

5 hours ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Going viral on WeChat:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Making waves on Messenger:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Trending via TikTok:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Home » Funny World Quotes » Page 10

98 Funny world quotes

More funny world quotes 👇

Jan 22, 2025
Share →: World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Commentary:
"World domination? 🌍 Nah, I can barely handle adulting for myself! 🤷‍♂️ It's all fun and games until someone asks me to take over the world! 😂"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like trying to get a kid to stay in bed is like trying to stop a leaky faucet! 💦👦🏼 It's an endless cycle of "one more drink, please" that makes parents question if bedtime will ever truly arrive. 🤣 #ThirstyKidProblems
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Commentary:
Ah, Walmart – the great divider of mankind! 🛒 For some, it's a chore-filled expedition, a journey into the depths of consumerism. For others, it's a thrilling adventure, a chance to embrace the chaos and find hidden gems among the shelves. Which type are you? Embrace the Walmart experience, for it is a true test of character! 💸🎉
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Commentary:
"Attention kings 🤴👑: When she claims you're her whole world 🌎, just a gentle reminder that there are plenty of other planets out there! 🪐 Stay vigilant and keep exploring the galaxy of love! 🚀💫"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Commentary:
"Who needs friends when you have a plastic surgeon to lift your spirits and your face 🤣💉 Don't worry, be Botox-y! 😁 #SmileEnhancement"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Commentary:
"Remember, kids have the power to choose your retirement location 🏠👵👴 Best to butter them up with kindness and love now while you still have a chance! 😄 #FutureRoommateSelectors"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Commentary:
"Living in your own little world is not a problem when you're the beloved Mayor of that world! 🌍🤣"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Commentary:
"Trying to change the world without the source code is like trying to cook without a recipe – disastrous! 🌎💻 #DeveloperDilemma"

For even more funny world quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

5 hours ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Going viral on X:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Making waves on Facebook:

Body by sandwich.

Breaking via Slack:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Making waves on Discord:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

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