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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Seen just now on YouTube:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Just landed via Reddit:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Breaking via Telegram:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Spotted on Snapchat:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Going viral on YouTube:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Just landed via Telegram:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

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I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.
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Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect recipe for a rustic coffee shop in the woods with hug-only seating! ☕🌲🤗

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of things costing money.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Trending via Reddit:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Just landed via Discord:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Trending via Snapchat:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Just shared via Threads:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Just shared via Twitch:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Trending via Snapchat:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

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