Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.
  • I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.
  • The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.
  • First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.
  • Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.
  • I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.