Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, the modern struggle of giving our phones much-needed rest! 📱💤 Who needs beauty sleep when your phone is begging for a break? Maybe we should start a petition for phone vacations! 😂 #PhoneDeservesABreak

break, humor, i, night, only, phone, rest, sleep, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

0

2 months ago

after, bills, every, finance, giving, here, humor, lord, month, monthly, paid, payment, price, struggle, us
I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

0

2 months ago

answer, answering, believe, bravery, caller, caller ID, calling, communication, daredevil, hard, hello, i, ID, idea, just, nostalgia, phone, picked, surprise, used
Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, dislike, love, mean, mixed, mixed signal, rejection, relationship, signal, signals, simple
Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

0

5 months ago

attitude, business, communication, humor, i, none, oh, privacy, sarcasm, secret, tell
Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

0

2 months ago

accident, billboard, car, distraction, drive, driving, humor, irony, reading, safety, said, text, texting
Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

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2 months ago

anyone, brain, brain surgery, ChatGPT, else, humor, irony, medical, middle, neurosurgeon, stress, surgery, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

83 shares on X this month:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Going viral on TikTok:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Making waves on Messenger:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Trending via Twitch:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Trending via YouTube:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨