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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Making waves on TikTok:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Going viral on WeChat:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Breaking via Snapchat:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Just shared via Instagram:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Going bananas on Slack:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Just shared via Slack:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Breaking via YouTube:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

0
“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll need waterproof popcorn for my underwater binge-watching sessions 🍿🐠📺

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

84 shares on X this month:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

26 shares on X this month:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Going viral on Instagram:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Going viral on X:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Spotted on Reddit:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Freshly posted on X:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Trending via Pinterest:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

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