Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,245

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Trending via Facebook:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Breaking via Discord:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Making waves on Discord:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Making waves on Instagram:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Just shared via WeChat:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll need waterproof popcorn for my underwater binge-watching sessions 🍿🐠📺

brothers, buying, entertainment, entertainment industry, evolution, evolve, future, gill, humor, industry, living, matter, Netflix, none, once, start, underwater, warner, Warner Brothers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

0

1 month ago

attitude, friend, friends, here, humor, just, noise, statement
It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

0

4 months ago

adulthood, being, humor, irony, just, lesson, life, life lesson, new, responsibility, responsible, reward, sucks
Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

0

2 months ago

babe, couch, couple, everyday, everyday life, humor, ignore, lay, lazy, life, phone, phones, play, relationship, together
I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

0

2 months ago

dislike, humor, i, mature, maturity, Monday, routine, week, whole, work
I have thought one billion times about everything.

0

3 months ago

billion, everything, exaggeration, humor, hyperbole, i, overthinking, thinking, thought, times
I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

0

2 months ago

amazing, amazing feeling, back, before, care, feel, feeling, growing, growth, hair, hair growth, humor, i, just, leg, legs, man, minutes, next, personal, personal care, seconds, self-care, shaved, shaved leg, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

52 shares on Slack this month:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

98 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite color is money.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Just shared via Slack:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Just shared via Reddit:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Going viral on WeChat:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Going viral on Discord:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Broadcasted on X:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

I have thought one billion times about everything.

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨