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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Just shared via Twitch:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Just shared via Discord:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

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Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hannah's name game: double or nothing! 😂✨📚

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on YouTube this month:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

40 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

92 shares on X this month:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Making waves on YouTube:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Trending via X:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Trending via X:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Just landed via X:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

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