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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Girls be like, โ€œI know a spot,โ€ then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,013

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on X:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Breaking via Reddit:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Seen just now on Slack:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Breaking via Discord:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Spotted on Threads:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Spotted on Discord:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Trending via Instagram:

Right before rock bottom, youโ€™ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Trending via Slack:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

More funny quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

๐ŸŽฒ Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

61 shares on TikTok this month:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

My kids didnโ€™t follow me into the bathroom so now Iโ€™m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but thatโ€™s because I AM.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

โ€œIโ€™ve tasted going back to an ex, and Iโ€™ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.โ€

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,022

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like theyโ€™re hamsters.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and canโ€™t talk at all. Thatโ€™s how it works.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who canโ€™t find anything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via X:

I donโ€™t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Just landed via TikTok:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Going viral on Telegram:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Making waves on X:

As long as I can dip something in something, Iโ€™m happy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Just shared via Facebook:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

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