Commentary:
Trying to stay calm while someone chews next to me is my new extreme sport 🤣🤯🍽️
The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.
Commentary:
Jump right in, the water's already gossiping about us standing on the edge! 🏊♂️❄️😂
If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.
Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to hide my happiness behind my resting grump face then! 😄🙃
I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.
Commentary:
That moment when my nose wants to file its own paperwork 😅🚫👃
Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.
Commentary:
Same outfit, same meal, same movie? You're just living that Groundhog Day life. 🧥🍕📺
Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.
Commentary:
Attempting to shake hands with a palm tree is an ambitious endeavor! 🌴🤝🤣
Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.
Commentary:
Sounds like a "bore-ting" combination! 😂😅 Who knew boredom could be so risky? 🙈
My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.
Commentary:
Cart collector in training 🛒😂 Just call me the window shopping champion! 🏆✨
Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.
Commentary:
Just like having a fork in your pocket doesn’t make you a chef! 🍴😂
Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?
Commentary:
Applying all my hut skills to become the ultimate Hut Manager! 🍕🕶️🏕️