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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Just landed via Reddit:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Spotted on Slack:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Going viral on Messenger:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Just shared via Twitch:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Freshly posted on X:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just realized I'm the plot twist in my own story! 📚🤪✉️"

communication, digital, humor, i, impulsive, media, messaging, press, psycho, reaction, read, send, social, social media, sometimes, text, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

0

2 months ago

advice, experience, humor, learn, life, live, mistake, mistakes, never, wisdom, yourself
My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, conversations, even, habit, listening, me, relationship, saying, starting, weird, wife
Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

0

2 months ago

community, diagnose, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, patients, psychiatric, psychiatric ward, social, social media, Twitter, ward, where
Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

0

2 months ago

another, control, daily, daily struggle, day, emotional, emotional control, feelings, felony, here, horn, humor, i, own, self-praise, struggle, through, turning
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

0

2 months ago

back, connection, happiness, i, interaction, love, me, moment, nice, smile, stranger, strangers
I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

0

2 months ago

boss, calls, christ, delusional, head, humor, i, Jesus, Jesus Christ, keeps, me, misunderstanding, nickname, shaking, shaking head, think, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

91 shares on Discord this month:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Making waves on X:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Breaking via Messenger:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Going bananas on Pinterest:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Spotted on Discord:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Just shared via Reddit:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Going viral on YouTube:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Just shared via Instagram:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Going bananas on Facebook:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨