Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Trending via TikTok:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Shared recently on Discord:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Live now on Facebook:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Going viral on Threads:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Making waves on Slack:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Finding that perfect level of chaos in life where it's 'ouch' instead of 'ouchouchouchOMG!' 😅🔨

alive, balance, dead, enough, humor, just, know, life, pain, spot, sweet, sweet spot, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

0

2 months ago

coffee, expectations, humor, i, low, mornings, motivation, routine, sarcasm, start
Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

0

2 months ago

childhood, digital, digital toy, euthanasia, humor, pet, Tamagotchi, toy, virtual, virtual pet
Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

0

4 months ago

compliment, everyone, here, hot, hot person, humor, interaction, nice, person, sarcasm, social, social interaction
I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

0

2 months ago

artist, ask, expectation, favorite, humor, i, music, phone, play, playing, song, water
Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

0

2 months ago

change, changing, funny observation, humor, layout, observation, rap, songs, stores
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

0

2 months ago

ability, aerobic, boredom, exercise, fitness, greek, Greek words, humor, word, wordplay, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Facebook this month:

How do I un-know people?

34 shares on Facebook this month:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

88 shares on Slack this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

15 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Just landed via Threads:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Going viral on WeChat:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Just landed via Discord:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Just shared via Facebook:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Trending via Instagram:

I put the mess in domestic.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I need money, not feelings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨