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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Just landed via Messenger:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Spotted on Telegram:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Shared recently on Discord:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.
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Commentary:
My cat gets more screen time than I do! 😸📱😴

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Discord this month:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Just shared via YouTube:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Shared recently on Facebook:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Shared recently on X:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Going bananas on X:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Just shared via Slack:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

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