Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

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Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

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Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

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Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

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I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

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Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.