Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Trending via TikTok:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

More funny quotes 👇

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

0

1 month ago

activity, deep, deep fried, fair, food, fried, fun, fun activity, humor, novelty, Pokémon, real, satire, state, stick
Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

0

1 month ago

apology, distraction, driving, humor, posts, sorry, texting, texting while driving, typo, while
Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

0

1 month ago

bull, caffeine, digestion, drink, energy, energy drink, gas, give, humor, joke, me, punchline, red, Red Bull, wings
Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

0

1 month ago

coping, coping mechanism, emotional, emotional response, health, humor, lashing, lashing out, loved, loved ones, making, mechanism, mental, mental health, new, ones, relief, resentment, response, stress, stress relief
Does your blood pump that way just for me?

0

1 month ago

attraction, blood, flirt, humor, humor quote, just, love, me, romantic
“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

0

1 month ago

cart, deserve, humor, indulgence, retail, retail therapy, self-care, sh, shopping, therapy, treat, yourself
The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

0

1 month ago

attention, authority, example, humor, irony, leadership, motivation, problem
Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

0

1 month ago

accidentally, attraction, chemistry, cook, cooking, crush, date, emotional, emotional intelligence, emotionally, hot, humor, intelligence, intelligent, man, manifestation, serendipity, staring
Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

0

1 month ago

date, groom, humor, humor quote, invitation, joke, me, social, wedding
Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

0

1 month ago

activity, apocalypse, dreaming, entertainment, fun, fun activity, humor, night, nights, Saturday, show, shows, watching, zombie

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

89 shares on X this month:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

50 shares on X this month:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Making waves on Telegram:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Just landed via Facebook:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨