Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Spotted on Twitch:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Just shared via Messenger:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Spotted on X:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Spotted on Slack:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Spotted on Discord:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Just landed via Facebook:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Trending via Pinterest:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Packing fashion and bravery into one accessory, because nothing says 'confident' like a sword-ready strut! ⚔️💃✨

accessory, bold, bold style, boost, confidence, confidence boost, empowerment, example, fashion, feel, humor, i, know, me, personality, quirky, self-confidence, sexier, style, sword, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

0

1 month ago

coffee, dangerous, drinking, game, i, most, play, seeing
The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

0

2 months ago

back, bad, bad habit, bundle, communication, habit, habits, humanity, humor, i, me, message, mushroom, need, psychedelic, response, self-improvement, shit, tell, together, told, us, weeks
Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

0

4 months ago

bag, bottle, experience, inconvenience, leak, leaking, top, water, water bottle, worst, worst experience
Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

0

2 months ago

dining, friends, Google, humor, menu, people, preparation, restaurant, social, yourself
Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

0

2 months ago

ability, algorithm, betterment, chance, humanity, only, people, please, post, psionic, psionic ability, show
This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

0

2 months ago

attitude, called, casual, casual attitude, chapter, guess, humor, i, indifference, life, life chapter, ok, uncertainty, whatever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Threads this month:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

14 shares on Threads this month:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

31 shares on Messenger this month:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

18 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

20 shares on Threads this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Just shared via X:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Trending via Pinterest:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Trending via Reddit:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨