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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Just shared via Twitch:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Breaking via X:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Trending via X:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Just shared via WeChat:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Breaking via Instagram:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

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Commentary:
"🎉 Age is just a number! Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel… and that number keeps increasing faster than my internet speed 🐢💨😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

58 shares on X this month:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

63 shares on Slack this month:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Trending via Slack:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Trending via Facebook:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Trending via Pinterest:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

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