Commentary:
Ah, the classic bedtime routine: close eyes, open apps! 😴📱📚
89 Funny addiction quotes
Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?
Commentary:
Sounds like a job for the Phone-nappers! 📱🕵️♂️🚨
Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.
Commentary:
"Who knew my bank account's arch-nemesis would be a humble tomato in disguise? 🍅💸 #KetchupAddict"
Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.
Commentary:
"That moment when your liver remembers the cycle better than you do! 🍻🤦♂️🔄"
Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.
Commentary:
"Taking 'commitment issues' to a whole new level! 😂📚🔞"
Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.
Commentary:
Haha, same! My phone’s basically the director of my life now 🎬📱😂!
You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.
Commentary:
"Careful, those swag points might reach critical levels! 😎💥 #TooCool"
Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.
Commentary:
"Ah, fresh air and fresh judgments… the original social media! 📱➡️🙋♀️🌳 #OfflineCritiques"
I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.
Commentary:
"Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! 🦸♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer"
Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.
Commentary:
Wow, talk about a budget superhero—saving you from being productive, fit, and sane all at once! 😂🍃🤪💤