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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Spotted on WeChat:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Spotted on YouTube:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Freshly posted on X:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Trending via TikTok:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Just shared via WeChat:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Trending via TikTok:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WeChat this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

42 shares on Discord this month:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

16 shares on Threads this month:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Going viral on Twitch:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Seen just now on Threads:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Just landed via WeChat:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Spotted on Telegram:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

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