Funny astrology quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

  Commentary:
  "When the moon is out there herding wolves, women, and waves, you know it's under a lot of pressure! 🌕🐺🌊👩‍🦰"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: My bank account is also in retrograde.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even your bank account is feeling the cosmic vibes! 🌌💸 Just remember, Mercury might be in retrograde, but your money doesn't have to be spinning in circles too! 😂💰"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Is Mercury in reggaeton?

  Commentary:
  Well, if Mercury is in reggaeton, then I guess even the planets need to spice up their dance moves every now and then! Who knew that the solar system had such a groovy side to it? Just imagine Mercury busting out some Reggaeton moves while orbiting the sun – now that's a celestial dance party we'd all love to crash!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the full moon – nature's perfect excuse for all our questionable life choices! 🌕🤪 Just blame it on Luna, she won't mind one bit. After all, it's not you, it's the moonlight talking! 🌝😜"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

  Commentary:
  Oh, poor Mercury, always catching the blame for retrograde! 🪐 Next time, let's check in with the cosmic bodies before casting our astrological frustrations. Maybe Mercury just needs a hug and some retrograde appreciation! 🌌 #CosmicConsiderations

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

  Commentary:
  "Don't stress over your mishaps, just shift the blame to those sneaky planets! Who knew Mercury's retrograde could be so impactful? 🌌😂 Embrace astrology and watch your responsibilities align with the stars! ⭐️🪐 #BlameThePlanets"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

  Commentary:
  "Well, blame it on the stars, not the folks who gave you life! 🌟✨ Looks like Mercury retrograde gets more airtime than family drama these days! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #CosmicExcuses"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out, folks! 🦁♌️ Leo in the house about to munch on your astrological signs like it's a cosmic buffet! 😂🍽️ Who knew zodiac signs could be so tasty? Better hide your horoscope!"

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